I Watched the Founder, Thought About Steve Jobs and Now I Want to Punch Myself in the Face

Beginning with the amazing flashback of the implementation of a pickle dispenser station, to the franchising debate and that rabble-rouser scene where our hero fights for corporate sponsorship, The Founder, like Steve Jobs of yesteryear, is the American success story I don’t know I want to see. Montages of sales pitches and investment schemes, monologues about semi-hostile takeovers and the grand accomplishment of enacting the powder milkshake into production are the business hero version of a car chase in these films. If everyone wins, we get a nation of minimum wage workers slingin cheap shit to the masses and an unseen factory with workers throwing themselves off the roof hoping to hit pavement and not the back-to-work net.


No matter how snappy the writing is, or how engaging the performances may be, the corporate titan origin story will never have that clean ‘save the cheerleader, save the world’ plotline that makes you want to high-five your cat when the credits roll.
Billionaires are dicks. These movies are boring. And on a star scale of 1-5, I give them all a .01%.



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